I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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