my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
