I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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