literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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