he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
