I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
