At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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