That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
