you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize