I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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