I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
