Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize