You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
