i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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