sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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