drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
