why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
