WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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