we're blogging at a bar
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
