Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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