I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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