if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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