I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
