Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
