we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How does it feel to date your dad?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
