So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
