Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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