My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize