your room smells of hookers.
And success
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
