Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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