We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
