My nipple is on Facebook.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
