i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
