Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
