Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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