just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
