Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
