He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
COCAINE IS GR8
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
