I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
