all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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