i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
