is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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