Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
