are you still at the devil's house?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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