Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
