So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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