I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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