I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
