a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
