we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
