he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
