don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
