FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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