whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
