"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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