umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
