hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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