paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
