I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
