You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
