apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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