We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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