Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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