In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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