oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
