"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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