oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
