I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
