answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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