she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
