i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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