Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize