dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
